NORTH NORTH WEST KENT DERBY RESULTS IN FINE BEXLEY VICTORY

BY JAMIE WARREN

Imagine what Joe would be like if he wasn't so tired!

Spring was springing like Joe Fernyhough’s mattress; i.e. a lot! This was a glorious day, perhaps being responsible for the big attendance. In fact, several ladies of the opposite sex were noticed by their presence. It is amazing what the weather will do. Laurie, Lizzie and Howard were there as usual though; no fair-weather fans these.

It was hoped that that Bexley could continue their good run of form, but as with most local derbies, nothing is ever certain. But Bexley struck early, a good move superbly finished off by Martin Hayden, converted by Josh Allison giving Bexley an early seven point lead. Josh followed this up showing superb pace to finish off another smooth move giving Bexley a 14 point lead.

Orpington soon struck back, a brutally physical try bringing the score to 14-5. Indeed this threw down the marker for this game, Orpington providing (especially their pack) the most physical challenge I have witnessed Bexley have this season.

Bexley however were next to score. In a game of such physicality, it took Bexley’s close range specialist to once more crash over from five yards. However, ‘Little Big’ Dave Silvester, the fastest man over one yard in Bexley’s squad, for the first time only had to break into jogging pace, so missing was Orp’s defence. I think Dave felt a little cheated to be honest. Joe continued his brilliant try scoring form by superbly finishing off another fine Bexley move, once more getting Bexley’s scoring bonus point before half time.

It was at half time that one of the Bexley groupie ladeez was heard to say “he is definitely getting it tonight, he told me! They apparently talk about it loads”. This correspondent has been associated with Bexley for some 20 years now, so was quick to point out that talking about it (especially on a Saturday night) was actually as close as most Bexley players got. Quick to defend her man she then shouted out “me and Joe do it loads”. This is obviously incorrect. It should have been “Joe and I do it loads”.

The second half carried on the same physical manner. Territory and the ball being mostly Bexley’s domain, but was to be hard fought for. Bexley could not be denied though, Joe once again touching down after a great move.

The Bexley management had to think about replacements. James ‘Lank’ Morgan was suggested as someone to potentially have a rest. To which one of the crowd said “Lank and who?”. The management thought this was “Lank can hook”, and so nearly re-wrote the ergonomic requirements of a modern hooker until they realised they had misheard. Still we know what Lank would’ve used for hooking, and so can be pretty confident we would never have lost a scrum! However, it was decided it was to be Lank and Sam Ward. The management were obviously displeased with Sam’s efforts. Mutterings of “lazy”, “useless” and “big girl’s blouse” were not heard in any way shape or form, but why else would he have been taken off. When the affronted Thor like being came off, fell on his knees, and bellowed “Whhhhyyyyyy!” to the heavens, all management could peep “was you looked a bit pooped”. I for one did not fall for it.

Bexley were five tries up, despite seemingly playing against 16 men. Obviously a ref can only ref what he sees, so if he misses fed scrums, or kicks straight out, then so be it. But when Jack Mills calls a mark, is tackled within two yards of that mark, and again within 8 yards of that mark by the opposition centre, and the ref asks how that centre is, you have to wonder!

Bexley by now had the match won, and champagne (well vimto) rugby was now the order of the day. Charlie Sandison, showing all his father’s and sibling’s pace and elusiveness, went over for a brace of tries in the final five minutes.

All tries were converted (bar one), Josh kicking three, Jack two, and Joe one, with a penalty from Josh resulting in a final score of 50-5. All of Bexley’s tries (apart from LBD’s - I think he is still looking for someone to run in to) were fine looking individual efforts, but made possible by team work from the whole side.

Like the performance against Edenbridge it is hard to single out any individuals, but those who played in the midfield (Bryce Redmill, Jack, Martin, and Andy ‘AJ’ Johnson) deserve special praise for their defence. On the odd occasion that their commitment did not fell the big bloke running at them, their speed bump certainly slowed them down. It’s just a shame Mrs Hayden witnessed this bit as opposed to her husband’s fine try. Joe’s running and passing (yes passing) were noticeable as well.

This was a superb result, against committed and physical opposition. Things are going from strength to strength for Bexley. The penalty count is still too high though, and support to the ball carrier was often on the slow side. If they can rectify this, and guard against complacency in coming matches, Bexley can control the league.

Joe and Mrs Joe went off hand in hand, to celebrate as only they know how. No wonder he didn’t complete that run to score a try; he is too tired!